The Number 1 Thing You Can Do To Be Happy
When I was thinking about how to be happy I looked back into my own personal development and realized that to be happier in life I’d often turn to honesty as a way to increase my happiness long term.
Short term happiness?
In the short term, you may be happier lying to yourself or other people about something. But in the long term, it’s best to do a lot of self-development, and that includes being honest with yourself and with those around you so you can be more of yourself, and in my opinion, this is the true form of happiness.
Maybe happiness is too weak of a word, but what I am referring to is a deep-seated contentment, which I would fundamentally call being happy. After all, you might find yourself saying at times, “It was a hard decision and process but I am happy with what happened”.
This long-term approach to happiness, through a radical adherence to honesty, is the only way I can see to not only be happier at work, be happier in life, but to be a happier person in general.
The motivation for being honest might not even be to obtain happiness. But happiness is a by-product of self-improvement and honest living.
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You have to ask yourself, how can I be happy now, be happy today, be happy tomorrow, be happy into the future, and ensure the happiness of those around me?
You can only accomplish this through personal growth and a commitment to honesty because any other means of trying to be happy can’t fulfill the above criteria as they are fleeting.
For example, let’s say avoiding your boss makes you happier. This is not a good long-term strategy as your boss is always there, in your work environment, over the many years you work there. The better strategy would be, to be honest, and actively encounter your boss, either they will change or you will have to leave, but now you continue to move onto an environment that allows you to be honest.
Honesty is a vehicle
In other words, honesty is like a vehicle, if you have the faith to follow it, it’ll take you to a better place. The process is ugly, the end result is like heaven. You can say what you want to and be who you want because you’ve been so honest with yourself and those around you that you find yourself in an environment that is almost personally crafted for your own existence.
This might be a bit hard to comprehend at first, but think about it, honesty is a vehicle and that vehicle gives you the freedom to be happy.
By Jared Chan
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There’s this old quote I’ll just read it, “an honest frown is better than a fake smile” and that’s so true, isn’t it? You want someone to be honest with you. You don’t want someone who’s just like, “hello, I’m happy”, but they’re not really happy you know? It’s like well, **** off, I don’t want you around me if you’re going to act like that. Where as if someone is upset but they are really upset it’s like, well this is real right now, this is a real moment, you’re a real human I’m going to connect with you.
I find if I’m ever disingenuous it’s because I have to go to work or something. But most of the time I find that I don’t have to be disingenuous. If I’m at work and I’m having a bad time and I start to think, oh well I can still feel happy about this, I can still express my joy towards this particular person. I might be frustrated at this task but I can still express my joy towards this person because they’re a person and I like them. I might not know them but I just care about people.
And so when I start to think like that I can really cultivate inside of me the true happiness. The true part of being happy. And sometimes you can’t always do that and it’s best to just be, you know, honest. And it doesn’t mean you have to be outright telling everyone, “look I feel like ****!” Especially if you are at work, you know, that’s not very good at all. But you know, I think you still have to stand your ground.
But be who you are, and if you can’t do that in your job, sometimes you won’t be able to I understand that, that sucks big balls. But some people can do that. And it’s not just in your job too, it’s when you go home, when you talk to people. You know you can’t always just vomit out every single problem you have, but you know, you have to be able to be honest and truthful in who you are because the more disingenuous you are the more you kind of, I believe, destroy your soul, you destroy who you are really.
And you don’t know who you are, you’re just kind of conforming to whatever external authority says you have to be. I don’t think that’s right, I think to be human you have to really be able to express when you are happy, when you are sad, and yes you respect other people when you do that, but that’s a part of you being respectful, you know, because you are respectful.
There’s almost simultaneous things going on, you’re respectful, but you’re yourself, you’re mindful of other people. You got to balance all that out, but you know and that can be challenging, but I think for the most part you have to feel like you are able to be yourself.
And if you are not in the position to do that then get out of that. You might not be able to do it straight away but move out of there. Start to talk to people where you can be who you are. My best friend, she’s amazing right, and she allows me to be me. I’m allowed to be who I am, I’m allowed to talk and say whatever I want to do and that’s awesome.
But I can’t do that with everyone I know and that’s why I spend less time with those people. And I would do that with them if they’d let me do it. A lot of the time I come up against a wall and it’s like this person won’t let me be me. And that’s why when people are around me they feel so comfortable, “oh, I’m allowed to be me, I can say whatever to this guy, he doesn’t care, he’s not going to judge me.” And that’s true, I won’t because it’s like, it doesn’t matter. You be you I be me and we just have a good time. There’s still some rules, you know we can’t just slap each other in the face, you don’t want to disrespect each other.
But that’s the thing is I think that the more you are allowed to just be honest and be yourself, the more you are able to flourish. The more you are able to really feel healthy, psychologically, and just in yourself. So I would encourage you. Find places where you are able to really be authentic, really be honest, and be more honest with yourself as a human. I’m working on it but I encourage you to do it as well.
By Jared Chan
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