HOW TO FOCUS ON BEAUTIFUL GENUINE LOVE

Grow a big heart and take the path of love

I’ve written this post to help you access that pure state of beautiful genuine love. When you focus on beautiful genuine love you are at peace with the world. Your love for other people supplants any fear you once had about the vulnerability of your life.

Genuine Love

Instead of your vulnerability being your reason to fear, your vulnerability gives you a reason to love. Because ultimately, a state of love for other people is the greatest position you can hold. The cultivation of beautiful genuine love provides the meaning and value necessary to break free from the paralysis of fear.

Beautiful genuine love infuses our lives with a sense of purpose. This allows us to fervently enjoy life, endure suffering, and accept the inevitability of death.

But sometimes we lose sight of beautiful genuine love because we live in a world that has been so hostile towards us. We’ve been hurt and have become vulnerable. We carry around our pain and continue to hurt others. We do this because we fundamentally believe that love will leave us exposed to further suffering.

We need wisdom to understand that beautiful genuine love is a position of strength and not weakness. We must realise that we are always suffering and instead of trying to avoid our pain by hurting others, we must adopt the greater way – a life of love.

Love turns your vulnerability into a great power that always prevails and is never persuaded by outside forces. It makes you impenetrable as you are not looking to protect yourself against offences because you’re never offended. You are not looking to fulfil your selfish desires because you take delight in helping others succeed. You’re not looking at what you can get so that you can survive, you are looking at what you can give so you can thrive.

For those who feel like you can’t get back into this state of beautiful genuine love, I’ve outlined a few points to help you cultivate beautiful genuine love so you can enjoy its benefits once again.

Cultivating beautiful genuine love

1. Adopt an attitude of beautiful genuine love

Demonstrating love can be hard when you’ve spent so long in selfish mode – I’d know because that’s what happened to me.

I grew up an only child in a single mother household and used to be by myself doing whatever I wanted. I wasn’t spoilt because we didn’t have a lot of money, but I was forced to become independent and fend for myself. Today I am still highly independent and it is a great strength that helps me get through life when times are tough. But it has exposed a great weakness in me that makes it difficult to drop my selfish predisposition.

Over the years I’ve found that the only times I was able to overcome my predisposition is by fervently committing to the adoption of an attitude of love. Every day, during these periods of walking in love, I’d consciously envision myself being kind to people and reacting to people out of love instead of selfishness. I’d feel the love so strongly that I’d text all my friends and tell them that I love them and care for them in a way that made sense to them.

Recently I’ve recommitted myself to adopting an attitude of beautiful genuine love again and I’ve made this a value that I try to honour. If you want to join me just take a small amount of time every day to envision yourself loving people. When you talk with people throughout the day keep envisioning and include that person in your vision. It takes time but you’ll begin to respond to people with beautiful genuine love and their hearts will be touched.

 2. Be understanding of others

 When you seek first to understand other people you are better equipped to respond with love. You can empathise and look at situations thoughtfully by simply understanding someone else’s circumstances and grasping that they may function differently to yourself. Being understanding helps you to respond compassionately instead of through anger and disdain.

Most people are not understanding or thoughtful and they judge other people very quickly. This is to be counteracted by making a conscious effort to look deeper at situations and trying to empathise with other people. Even if we don’t agree with what someone has done, it’s best to still seek to understand, and this will provide the greatest likelihood of a resolution.

Adopting an ‘attitude of love’ is about cultivating an emotional affection that allows love to govern your reactions. However, ‘being understanding’ of others is more of a cognitive action that uses objective thinking to alter your emotional state. This is what’s called ‘cognitive reappraisal’ – the rethinking of emotionally charged situations to alter how you feel.

There is a fantastic scientific review of the relationship between cognition and emotion by Dr Luiz Pessoa. He points out, through tracking activity in the brain, that we can indeed increase or decrease our emotional responses by rethinking the meaning of a given situation.

3. Develop a lifestyle of active kind-heartedness

Sometimes it can be hard to conceptualise what love really looks like because the word love has become so vapid – that’s why I renamed it, ‘beautiful genuine love’. This kind of love can be understood in action as kindness. Being understanding can help avoid getting into conflict, while being kind is proactive and reveals the love you have.

When you demonstrate kindness to other people they feel like you are good to and for them. Your reputation will thrive as people begin to see you as a good person. Being kind means that you take the initiative to help people because you are willing to look after other people’s needs. Kindness also means being gentle and sensitive with people. Even if you are discussing an unpleasant issue, do it with grace and tenderness.

4. Admire other people

Restrain your ego by humbling yourself and choosing to admire, appreciate, and value other people as worthy.

Too many people overestimate their importance and abilities as they try to protect themselves from a lack of true confidence. They put other people down because they want people to love them, and by doing so they’ve achieved the exact opposite.

It’s good to have self-esteem and confidence in your abilities, but at the same time, you should choose to be humble by appreciating and valuing other people as worthy of contribution. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. You’re not comparing, you’re just observing and admiring – this allows love to flow without your ego getting in the way.

5. Develop a healthy perspective of life and death

I remember I was with my friend Zak and we happened to drive past a graveyard. When I saw it I mentioned that we’d all end up there eventually and I smiled. Zak was horrified and didn’t want to talk about the inevitability of our death.

I can understand it’s not a very pleasant topic at first. But once you come to accept your death, it gives you perspective on how you should live your life.

In my opinion, leading a life of beautiful genuine love is the greatest life you can ever have. You not only live satisfied, you die satisfied. Furthermore, the people who knew you, will always know you as the person who loved them. You’ll be immortalised as a person of great love. Your book is sealed. You’ve accomplished what you were born to do – Love.

Question: Have you been able to access the state of beautiful genuine love? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.